Keeping the Fights – and the House – Clean

One of the things I love best about my husband is that he’d rather spend time with me than with anyone else. This is sincere and it holds true in any situation.

Example: At most military functions I’ve attended, I find that the guys will split from their wives and form an elbow-bending group where they can jostle each other around, laugh loudly and generally behave like the primates from which they descended. This leaves the wives to gravitate towards each other, forming groups almost out of self-defense where they can shake their heads and roll their eyes at their spouses’ antics.

Not my husband. He stays with me, and not because I would be a little lost satellite without him. At the last Yellow Ribbon event before his unit deployed, I asked him why he didn’t go hang out with the other soldiers.

“You can, you know,” I told him. I have the potential to be a clingy wife since I am so shy around people, so I try to self-monitor.

“Oh, believe me,” he said. “I’ll be seeing those guys more than enough very, very soon.”

Coincidentally enough, I love spending time with him as well. So, you see, 90% of the time, we’re perfect for each other.

Make that 85% of the time. The other 15% we’re busy arguing or being mad at each other over the household distribution of labor.

Actually, 5% of the time we’re arguing about it, 10% of the time I’m mad at him over it, and he doesn’t get mad, which is even more annoying.

Housework is, without contest, the area that causes the most friction in our relationship. Often I wonder whether I’m being overly critical or sensitive, though – as I’ve written before – I do believe my way is the best way.

As it turns out, I’m not the only one. Housework seems to be a commonly disputed topic, according to my latest “Tell Me” poll.

Here are the full results:

Tell Me: What do you argue about MOST with your spouse?

Housework         32% (7)

Money                 23% (5)

Children/Pets    14% (3)

Other                   14% (3)

Politics                 9% (2)

Work                    9% (2)

Religion               0% (0)

All three people who selected “Other” provided alternate answers. The first answer – and my favorite – was:

He points out that I’m not perfect and I disagree.

Another said:

Snoring! I don’t…He does!

And one sickening individual made the comment:

We don’t argue.

Shameful. Who doesn’t argue? Clearly, this person is not Italian.

So there you have it. I feel better. Do you?

Thanks for voting! New poll will be coming soon. As soon as I think of one.

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7 responses to “Keeping the Fights – and the House – Clean

  1. Don’t get mad at me because I don’t argue with my husband. We just don’t. I recommend a housekeeper. If I had to give up then the arguments would fly

  2. My husband and I don’t really argue, however I think I picked politics.

    How do we not argue? Housework: He voluntarily cooks, does the dishes, takes out the garbage, and washes and irons his own clothes. Nothing to complain about there. Money: We both work and have our own. Not an issue. Kids: Don’t have any yet. That covers the big stuff.

  3. Bummer, I didn’t see the poll until now! I suck. Rob and I don’t argue all that much either — we have very similar views on most of the big-ticket items which clears away a lot of the arguments. Rob does a fair amount of chores because I work full-time. We cook together and he does the dishes, though I will jump in on them pretty frequently. The dog is definitely his – he walks her and is responsible for her food, though I give snuggles. I make more money because he’s on GI Bill, but most of our expenses are split in a way that makes sense given how much he makes (he pays for his own debt and half the rent; I cover groceries, half the rent, cable, electricity).

    Sometimes I do get cranky at one thing or another (perpetual depression/anxiety) and I get really annoyed with him, which he’ll usually call me out on. That can cause frustration and arguments. This is more frequent now that I’m working from home and stay inside all day typically.

  4. I think it’s funny that “religion” got 0 votes.

  5. LOL! Likely the couple who doesn’t argue is just ignoring many elephants in the room!

  6. I 100% agree with Gabby. Seriously, the cleaners who come and clean my house every other week are Godsends. Totally worth the money, however if we get to stay in our house we have to drop the cleaners to pay the increased rent. And if we move we’ll most likely have to drop them, too. I do not know what we’ll do since I refuse to clean. I just don’t like it and I’m lazy. And OF COURSE your way is the best way, duh, you’re the wife.

    We don’t argue about money. OccDoc makes it and I waste it. That’s a fact, Jack. No room for arguing there. We don’t argue about pets, however OccDoc will argue WITH the pets. It’s sad and pathetic really. Politics and work, eh, I don’t think either of us care enough to muster up an arguement.

    So, that, my friend, is why I had to write in my response. And the only one who snores in our household is Marcello, the fat Chihuahua. :) Good luck bustin’ T’s chops over the RIGHT way (again, your way).

  7. LOL! Awesome results! Did you ever read my post about how The Hubble and I almost divorced over laundry?? LOL! I believe I do it right…and he believes he does it right. Therefore, I just stopped doing laundry. Now it gets done and I don’t have to touch it OR argue about it! hahahahaha! Thanks for sharing! It’s good to know we aren’t the only ones who mainly fight over housework.

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