Crossroads

crossroads

I wouldn’t call it Writers’ Block. I have plenty of ideas and lots of thoughts to share. I still adore writing. Yearn for it, actually.

I wouldn’t say I’ve lost interest in blogging or in social media. I maintain a curiosity for what others have to say and I feel a thrill of creativity when I think of the possibilities.

It’s not – exactly - that I don’t have time, though time certainly is an obstacle. A daunting obstacle for one who works full-time (among various other commitments) and has a forty minute commute on either end of the work day. Still, it’s not, I suppose, an insurmountable problem for one who has the proper motivation.

No, instead I’d say that I’m suffering from a kind of soul ache. Some people might call it depression, but it’s not – exactly – depression.

I’m tired. Not physically tired, but spiritually exhausted. I find lately that I don’t have it in me anymore to furiously race against the clock just so that I have a couple of hours left at the end of the day to devote to a blog post. The very thought makes me weary.

This all came on fairly suddenly, and so I have to ask myself, Why? What’s different? More importantly, What’s the solution?

Do I need to narrow the focus of my blog? Since T’s been back from The Stan, it feels less like a MilSpouse blog and more like an EverythingUnderTheSun blog.

Or – and I keep coming back to this – do I resign from the blogging world entirely and focus on a larger, more cohesive piece of writing? Maybe. I’ve always wanted to do that and, most unfortunately, I don’t have the time to do both.

Somehow, though, the thought of giving up my blog hurts me. I love my blog and I’ve put a lot of time and effort into it. I adore the people I’ve met through blogging and am grateful for the connections I’ve made. I revel in checking for comments and, of course, in reading my Odd Blog Searches.

How can I give all of that up? I know cutting the cord is always painful, but that it’s often required to move on. I just don’t know that I can do it. Yet, here my blog sits like a virtual orphan.

That hurts me, too, but I need some time to think.

So, on the advice of a friend, I’m taking a blogging sabbatical. You may see me around now and again. I reserve the right to post an occasional entry, should The Muses be kind. But I suspect I will be largely absent for at least a month or two.

I need some time away from belly shots and memes. I need to re-learn how to think in threads longer than 140 pithy characters. I need to rout the words seriously, totally and like from my vocabulary. I need to stop believing that the interverse needs to know my every thought milliseconds after it flashes across my consciousness. I need to know that I can be clever without being critical.

I need a soul vacation.

View from Glen Boulder

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10 responses to “Crossroads

  1. I’ll miss you, but I totally understand! Enjoy your “vacation.” :)

  2. Love that view! Blog when you feel like – that’s the beauty of it. And regardless of whatever the degree of military-induced necessity (or lack thereof) for blogging, it’s your signature tone that makes your writing special, not whether it’s military or not. Just don’t leave us without Owen photos for too long though, LOL!

  3. I admire this, but it still makes me sad.
    Hope you find what you’re looking for.

  4. Whitney @Honey Bunches of "Oaks"

    I totally get where you’re coming from. I’ll miss you! Enjoy your sabbatical. I’m thinking I may need one before too long.

  5. Oh, I’ve heard the best place for a soul vacation is out west. Just kidding, it sucks out here. And why would you want to rout the words seriously, totally and like from your vocabulary? OMG, That’s like totally what my vocab is built on. Seriously. I have missed your witty and thoughtful posts over the past few weeks, but you’ve got a lot of life to live and you should, I don’t know, be present in real life to live it. Yeah, and post the occasional picture of Owen from time to time. That dog cracks me up!

  6. I hope you get what you need from your break! (and that it truly is a break, not the end. :) ) Take as much time as you need, and come back refreshed. :) {hugs}

  7. Thanks for all the nice comments, everyone. I’m missing you all already!

  8. Your posts do make me laugh. Do what you have to do but even though I know the ending I do need to have you continue your “Walk with me” series…… love ya.

  9. I hope this vacation helps your soul! We will be here waiting when you get back. Enjoy your time!!

  10. I was just thinking of you today. I hope your 2012 is off to a good start and that your blogging sabbatical has been rejuvenating. Take care!

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