The Unhappy Dragon

Once upon a time, there was a baby dragon. This dragon had a superpower that enabled him to withstand even the deadliest foe. The power, called Chew Guard Technology™, gave him great confidence and when he met the White Knight, he was not afraid.

Instead of becoming enemies, the two were the best of friends. They played in the forest and sent each other text messages. They were inseparable.

The White Knight and the Baby Dragon

One day the two friends were engaged in an epic mock battle.

“Ha ha!” the dragon taunted his friend. “Even if this were a real fight, you could never defeat me! I have Chew Guard Technology™ on my side! My midi-chlorians are ripe with it!”

After the seventh time the dragon boasted thus, the White Knight replied, “Everyone has a weakness, my friend. I shall find your Achilles.”

“I don’t even like Mexican food,” the dragon said, dismissing his friend with a wave of his tail. “Begone, peasant.”

Doggone it, the White Knight grumbled to himself. I’ll show that dragon that things aren’t always what they seem…wait! Seam! That’s it!

Using his new knowledge, the White Knight went to work and the next morning when the dragon woke up, he was rather surprised to find one of his ears missing.

Surprised Dragon 

“That White Knight!” he raged, stomping through the forest until he came upon his friend by the stream. “You might have taken my ear, but you’ll never take me alive!”

“In your ear,” the White Knight said.


The White Knight laughed, and the dragon, infuriated, pounced on his old friend.

But the White Knight knew the secret. A little chew here and a little gnaw there…and both ears were gone. And maybe a little of his head, too. And his tail.


The dragon refused to believe this was happening! He was supposed to be invincible. He roared and pounced again.

This time the White Knight went to work on his wings.


“Surely you’ve had enough,” the White Knight said then. “Let’s stop this foolishness before one of us gets hurt.”

“Never!” the dragon groaned, snapping furiously at the White Knight’s feet.

 Snap Dragon 

With a sigh, the White Knight realized that he had no choice but to finish what he had started.

When he was done, the dragon was no more; his pieces scattered on the wind.

Scattered on the Wind 

And the White Knight was sad.

Sad White Knight

He decided that he would take up his lute and write a song about the tragedy so that this day would long be remembered and friends would never fight again.

The White Knight's Lute

Unfortunately, he got a little sidetracked.

Eating the Lute

The End

Disclaimer: This story is not real and happened over the course of several months. As such, it is not intended as a criticism of Chew Guard Technology™, but rather as a testament to its superior durability. Any similarities to other dragons or white knights are either coincidental or subconscious.

Chew Guard


4 responses to “The Unhappy Dragon

  1. Hehe! Love this Knight’s Tale! So much fun with the accompanying pics too – and I love his little furry guitar!

  2. Too cute! Fortunately the Chihuahuas aren’t too destructive. They still have some of their ‘babies’ from when they were puppies – 6 years ago.

  3. OMG! This story was awesome!!! I especially love the disclaimer at the end!

  4. HILARIOUS! This so reminds me of my dogs. Doesn’t matter how indestructible the toy claims to be they will see it destroyed. I started buying those non-stuffed toys, just so I wouldn’t have to deal with all the stuffing. Haha!

    I’m sure you’ll be awesome as the commander’s wife :) I went to only a handful of events. I was not an FRG wife. I tried to be and it went well for awhile, but then it went quickly down hill when a mother got it in her head I was just there to be FRG President even though I never ran for that position. Whatever. I was content just being the commander’s wife at ceremony events and Stonewall was just fine with that.

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