As this deployment has progressed, I’ve noticed something strange happening: the more I miss my husband, the more of his habits I seem to take on. Curiously enough, none of these habits are his good ones.
I first noticed this phenomenon when I started treating my running sneakers like slip-ons. I tied the laces just tight enough so that they would stay on my feet, but I could take them off and on without untying.
I had never done this before. In fact, it used to drive me nuts to watch my husband grind his heel into his shoe, folding over the back of the sneaker so that he had to dig his fingers in to pop it out. Anytime we were going some place, I would stand near the door sighing loudly as he performed this ritual.
“Why do you have to do that?” I would nag him. “It would take you less time to untie the stupid things than it does to stand there jamming your foot in!”
T would just smile aggravatingly and adorably at me, completely unperturbed. He likes nothing more than to ruffle my feathers, the turd.
Yet, despite all of this, it has been at least a month since I have touched the laces on my shoes.
Worse, about a week ago, I stayed up until 2:30 in the morning playing an online computer game. Again, I had never done this before. I don’t remember the last time I was up past midnight and even that is a rare occurrence.
Back when T was home, I would be ready for bed by 10:30 most nights. “Are you coming to bed soon?” I’d ask as I kissed the top of his head.
“I’ll be in shortly,” he’d say, barely looking up from his epic battle with monsters, beasts or other baddies.
Uh huh. If shortly is two hours long, then he didn’t lie. Three hours on a weekend.
I miss him terribly.
Just to round things off, tonight I did the dishes and left the recyclables sitting on the counter for myself to take care of later.
Now all I need to do is start biting my nails while I’m watching TV.
Hm. Suddenly I don’t miss him quite as much as I did a few minutes ago. Aren’t defense mechanisms great?