You Might Have a Deployed Spouse if…

It occurs to me that I have posted more entries on my goofy dog, Owen, than I have on what it is like to be the wife of a deployed solider. This is largely because it is more fun to write about the White Knight and his shenanigans than it is to think about how much I miss my husband.

Still, there is value in taking a closer look at the unique behaviors caused by extended periods of spousal absence.

In other words, it might be fun to look at the weird ways in which I cope with having a husband who has been away for almost as much of our married life as he has been home. So, I have channeled Jeff Foxworthy and put together a short list to get us started:

You Might Have a Deployed Spouse if…

… your cell phone is as much a part of you as your own DNA.

…the highlight of your day is a static-ridden, ten-minute phone call during which the audio lag causes you to constantly talk over the person on the other end.

…you haven’t shaved your legs or plucked your eyebrows for over a week.

…you cry over romantic songs, the smell of fresh-cut grass or because it is the third Tuesday of the month.

…you find yourself taking on some of your spouse’s habits – even the annoying ones.

…you know more than most how slanted a media portrayal can be.

…you sometimes have to fight the sudden urge to throttle people who complain about their life.

…you’ve ever dreaded going home for fear there might be a Casualty Notifications Officer waiting for you.

…you can calculate an eight and a half hour time difference almost instantly.

…you have substituted ice cream for sex.


2 responses to “You Might Have a Deployed Spouse if…

  1. Oh my gosh this is hilarious and so true! This is my first deployment and my husband has only been gone for 3 weeks and I’ve already taken on all of those traits! I’ve even stooped as low as to never change the toilet paper rolls. I just use the other bathrooms of the house. I usually wring my husbands neck for that!! Glad I’m not the only one:)

    • Aren’t the ways we learn to cope funny? Usually it takes me weeks to realize what I’m doing and why. Best of luck to you and your husband throughout his deployment. :)

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