I have a confession to make: I’m a food snob.
Not in the gourmet sense, but in the healthy sense. I think that processed foods are evil, genetic modification is terrifying and sugar is nature’s prostitute; it feels good at the time, but it’s just screwing you in the end.
I can’t be so hypocritical as to pretend I never eat these things. I am as prone to temptation as the next man – especially when I have PMS – and I have certainly eaten my fair share of Ben & Jerry’s, Green & Black’s and Mike & Ikes.
I do, however, try to indulge only as a treat rather than on a daily basis.
Doesn’t it sound noble? In reality, if I eat too much sugar my eczema kicks into overdrive. My skin starts peeling off at the hairline, leaving raw pink patches around my face that are almost as attractive as the white flakes that start to surface in my eyebrows. Hot, I know.
And, by the way…it’s itchy as hell.
Since I have a limited tolerance for sugar, not to mention bad drivers and people with no common sense, food can be an adventure. Take grocery shopping and something as seemingly benign as a can of corn. Now, riddle me this:
Why does the ingredient list for Hannaford Whole Kernel corn include sugar, yet that of Hannaford Crisp and Sweet corn does not?
Why do some brands of canned red kidney beans contain sugar?
When is it ever necessary to feed children – or anyone else, for that matter – cereal that contains 15 grams of sugar per serving? I’m not talking total carbohydrates here. I’m talking straight sugar. And keep in mind that’s one serving (3/4 cup). Who eats just one serving of cereal?
By the way, there is less sugar in one serving of Double Stuf Oreos.
Yeah. That’s what I’m talking about. Dessert marketed as breakfast. Probably not a good thing, but anything to make a buck, right?
Okay, I’m getting all worked up. Focus. What was I saying? Oh, right. Hidden sugar.
Processed sugar is literally in almost everything, from spaghetti sauces and breads to soy milks and salad dressings.
It’s enough to make you feel betrayed. Fortunately for me, I’m just sick enough that I see it as some kind of game. Me against “them”. How healthy can I eat when the powers that be are doing their darndest to poison me?
See? Paranoia can be healthy.