A Hard Day

Today was a hard day. I miss my husband so intensely that at times it’s hard to breathe.

I spent the afternoon crying into the phone. T’s disembodied voice tried to soothe me across the miles, but “only three and a half more months” holds no comfort for me right now. Three and a half months is more than a quarter of a year. I’ve already waited. Waited longer than most people will ever wait.

I don’t want to wait any more.

This is the type of night where, if T were here, I would call out in a sing-songy voice, “Who wants to go get me some iiiiice creeeeeamm?” Like it is a big privilege or something. (Ice cream is my comfort food.)

Without missing a beat, T would say, “Okay, what kind do you want?”

This is just one example of how he is a better husband to me than I am a wife to him. If he asked me to go get him some ice cream, I’d probably whine that I didn’t feel like driving and then tell him that I didn’t want to get him ice cream because he’d just eat the whole pint all at once anyway.

But not T. He would grab his keys and head to the store, so that I could snuggle into a pair of fleece pants and get the computer set up for us to watch an episode of Wipeout (we don’t have TV).

He would also get up to click “Continue” at each commercial break, so that I could sit with the cats on my lap being a lazy sloth. When we were done with our ice cream, he would bring the leftovers down to the freezer, put the spoons in the sink, and come back upstairs to hold my hand for the rest of the show.

Of course, if T were here, I wouldn’t need the ice cream in the first place.

But I might ask for some anyway, just because I love that he loves me. Even when I’m a lazy sloth.

How can a person not miss that?

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8 responses to “A Hard Day

  1. Awwww! Poor thing! I’m so sorry. I know those days all too well and they do suck! I know this is no replacement for the ice cream but in about 3 months you will look back and wonder where the time went. You will make it through. You have so much ice cream to look forward to! ((hugs))

  2. That sucks – I’m sorry you’re having a hard day. My husband is a better husband to me than I am wife to him. I’m going to miss being a lazy sloth with a doting husband, too.

  3. You are killing me. Because of what you are going through, I hug my hubby a bit tighter because I can. I hear what you are going through, but hard to comprehend. I only know if I didn’t see my hubby every day, I would go mad. All I can say is, I am really sorry for you. May you not need ice cream soon because you have hugs instead.

  4. Ugh, this hits way too close to home! Great post though and I am sending you cyber hugs! J is the one who is so good about putting up leftovers and will do anything for me, like what you describe. Of course you miss it, as I do when he’s away. I hope your weekend is brighter than this day was!

  5. I know I haven’t been the best at supporting you, but I’m hoping to make it up to you. Let’s start Tuesday.

  6. Deborah Russell

    I feel your pain right now….why is people think “only three months to go” is comforting???????? I really want to pull back and punch the next person that says that. Love your blogs Sarah

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