The Fourth Judge: Week 2

Welcome to my amateur and inane recap of Week 2 on DWTS!

Rick Fox/Cheryl Burke (21/30)

Well, I didn’t have to wait long to see tall Rick Fox dance a jive. And I was happily stunned to see that he actually pulled it off. His limbs didn’t look lanky and he kept time with Cheryl – not an easy task considering his legs are about twice is long as hers. I think some of the credit goes to Cheryl for not putting too many kicks in the choreography, but he did a great job of keeping it neat and it was a fun dance.

Florence Henderson/Corky Ballas (19/30)

Florence put a lot of work into her quickstep, but the results didn’t match the effort. She wants to prove she can dance – and I think she can, to a degree – but her quickstep just wasn’t very…quickstep-y. In rehearsals she said, “It’s like running!” and that’s pretty much what it looked like.

Brandy/Maksim Chmerkovskiy (21/30)

Each season there is one contestant that under delivers despite high expectations. Last night it was Brandy. I thought her jive was going to be fast, fun and sharp. It was fast and fun…but not so sharp and that took away from the overall effect. On the bright side, she and Max are starting to fight a lot, so at least Max is living up to his reputation.

Michael Bolton/Chelsie Hightower (12/30)

I was going to be really hard on Michael Bolton, but the judges more than took care of that for me. Bruno crossed a line by telling him that his was the worst jive in eleven seasons, a comment that even Len called “unfair”. Michael is not a dancer. His arms hang motionless by his sides as his feet shuffle across the floor. It’s painful to watch, especially in a jive, but no more so than any of the other non-dancers the show has seen. Remember Ty Murray?

Audrina Patridge/Tony Dovolani (23/30)

Audrina turned in a clean quickstep that was almost what a quickstep should be. It lacked a tad bit of character and there was one slip-up, causing Bruno to give her a 7 against Len and Carrie Ann’s 8’s. Unfortunately for us all, Tony vowed that if the routine didn’t get straight 8’s he was going to wax his legs. Ouch!

Jennifer Grey/Derek Hough (24/30)

This week’s jive was every bit as good as last week’s Viennese waltz, except that Jennifer lost her steam about two-thirds of the way through. It was very obvious that by the end of the routine, her legs just weren’t doing what she wanted them to do. (Her kicks got really, really tiny.) But her footwork and hip action rocked and Derek’s choreography was amazing, as usual. I think she’s the best dancer right now, hands down.

Margaret Cho/Louis Van Amstel (18/30)

Margaret and Louis left the jokes behind this week and focused on the dance. Their jive was cute and Maragret pulled off her 80’s costume, but I didn’t like the way she kept her arms in the “sit up and beg” position the entire time and she was a little behind in her timing. I know, I’m picky.

Kyle Masse/Lacey Schwimmer (22/30)

I. Love. This. Kid! He’s funny, he’s charming and he’s funny. (I love people who can make me laugh.) If Carrie Ann hadn’t said it first, I’d admit that I have a crush on this teddy bear of a nineteen year old. Oh right, the dancing. And he can dance! For a heavier guy, he’s surprisingly light on his feet and his moves exude confidence. His quickstep this week was just as sassy as his cha cha cha last week. Did I mention that I love this kid?

Kurt Warner/Anna Trebunskaya (21/30)

Kurt is likeable and genuine so I hate to say anything bad about him. In reality, I don’t have anything bad to say about him. His jive was competent. If that sounds boring…well, I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.

Mike Sorrentino/Karina Smirnoff (18/30)

Oh dear. What can I say about pigeon-toed Mikey Sorrentino’s quickstep? Let me start with the fact that he didn’t know what “john-rah” his Brian Setzer Orchestra song fell into. Then he tried to sound diverse by listing out the types of music he’d be willing to dance to: club, pop, hip hop. Uh, that’s like saying, “I like rock, classic rock and rock ‘n roll.” And yes, ballroom dances are often choreographed around “club” music. Only not really. So, anyway, about the dancing. His timing is so, so, so, so, SO off. He took approximately four thousand five hundred and seventy-six extra steps and it looked like he missed one move completely. To be fair, I think he really IS trying and I think that this experience is good for him. He seems to have a pretty limited view of the world, so getting him off the Jersey Shore can’t be a bad thing.

Bristol Palin/Mark Ballas (22/30)

I am really impressed with Bristol’s effort and the results. I think she is at a disadvantage in that she isn’t used to being in the spotlight in this way. She’s handling it graciously and is stepping up to the dance challenge. Her gloves did look a little bit too much like Miss Piggy’s for my taste, but her quickstep was lovely. I’d like to see her be a little less conservative with her movements, but hey – she’s used to being around Republicans, so conservatism is to be expected. (OH! Pah dum pum! Thank you very much! I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.)

My pick to go home this week: Margaret Cho

Who actually went home: Michael Bolton

My early picks for the three finalists: Jennifer Grey, Rick Fox and Kyle Massey

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4 responses to “The Fourth Judge: Week 2

  1. I have not seen an episode yet this season! I have been so behind on like… everything.

    My sons name is Maksym, I didnt realize there was a Maksim on DWTS until after he was born and everyone kept calling him “Maks the dancing star”. We are Polish/Lithuanian, he is Lithuanian… gotta love us and our crazy spellings! haha

  2. I don’t even have to watch now…I’ll just stop in to see what you have to say about it!

  3. I agree with Mrs K – I’ve never watched this program, but your commentaries are awesome! They make me really want to follow along with it now.

  4. I totally knew it was poor Michael Bolton that would get the boot that week. I love reading your thoughts on this show!

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