The Fourth Judge: Week 5

 My recap is so late this week. Life is hectic right now and I’m not blogging nearly as often as I would like to, but all I can do is keep plugging away at it. So, without further ado, here’s the Week Five rundown:

Week Five was TV Theme Week: each couple was assigned a theme song from a popular TV show. Kind of a cute idea, but there were some weird combinations…like a tango done to “The Brady Bunch” theme song. Clearly, I’m not the only one that thinks of sultry blacks and reds smoldering together in intense passion when I see those nine bright-eyed, Anglo faces peeping out at me from their nine-squared shadow box.

Brandy/Maksim Chmerkovskiy (27/30)

The first time I watched Brandy and Maks quickstep to “Friends”, I hated it. It seemed too chaotic, too stop-and-go, and I didn’t see a lot of content. However, on results night Len chose this as the dance to see again, and the second time I saw it, I enjoyed it. It was fun, it moved around the whole (back to normal) dance floor and it was very energetic and well done. I’m not sure whether they performed it better the second time around, or if I’m just fickle, but either way, I’m reconciled to the three nines now.

Florence Henderson/Corky Ballas (21/30)

Florence and Corky, of course, danced the “Brady Bunch” tango. Corky put in a lot of turns that were easy for him to steer Florence through and they looked beautiful. Unfortunately, there were some strange shoulder shaking things that looked more seizure-like than artistic and that rather ruined the effect. Len called it “frantic”, and Bruno described Florence as a “ragdoll” and I’m afraid I agree with them both. I think Team Florky did well to make it to Week Five but anything further might be overstaying their welcome.

Kurt Warner/Anna Trebunskaya (24/30)

Kurt and Anna did a “bewitching” quickstep. (Ha! Get it?) The dance was quite clever and cute and only contained two nose wiggles. Kurt’s acting was a little rushed, but no big deal. The larger issue was his posture. It sucked. He stuck out his chin instead of pulling his shoulders back, a trick he seems to have picked up from Kyle, and it gave the dance an unpolished look. A quickstep should be light, not lumbering. (I say it like I know.)

Audrina Patridge/Tony Dovolani (23/30)

Boo hoo. Carrie Ann accused Tony and Audrina of doing a lift during their Hills-themed rumba and Tony got bent out of shape. Again. The thing is, Carrie Ann was right. Aside from the lift, this was more of the same from Audrina: technically good, but emotionally empty. It just wasn’t sexy. She’s a nice enough girl, but I’m getting tired of watching her. She’s going to have to dig deep if she wants to stick around. That is, unless “The Hills” fans remain loyal voters. (Does anyone watch “The Hills”? I’d never even heard of it.)

Kyle Masse/Lacey Schwimmer (20/30)

Lacey continues to get slammed by Len for her unconventional choreography, though everyone else seems to like it. She and Kyle danced a foxtrot to the “Charlie’s Angels” theme song. (And Kyle didn’t know who the (original) Angels were. Oi.) I have to agree with Len, though: there just wasn’t much foxtrot in it. It looked like there were moves from five different dances in there. It was well done and entertaining…but it was supposed to be a foxtrot, not a free-style. Still, Len’s 5 was a tad harsh.

Rick Fox/Cheryl Burke (24/30)

Oh, man. It’s scary when I agree with Len so often. Rick and Cheryl’s “Hill Street Blues” rumba was good technically – smoooooth, as Bruno put it – but there was something lacking. Passion, I guess. Len said it looked like they were staying together for the sake of the kids. Not exactly how I would have put it, but I agree with the general sentiment. Rick is still one of my favorites, though.

Bristol Palin/Mark Ballas (18/30)

No risk, no reward. But risks don’t always pay off. In an attempt to bring out some fun in Bristol, Mark had them start their “Monkees”-themed jive in gorilla suits. I’m not sure what happened, but Bristol completely lost it right at the beginning. Maybe her mask slipped and she couldn’t see. It looked more like she forgot what she was doing. Who knows, but she missed about five steps in the beginning, including a turn. Her timing was way off for the rest of the dance, which is too bad, because it would’ve been a cute performance.

Jennifer Grey/Derek Hough (25/30)

The judges were pretty hard on Jennifer and Derek’s “Love and Marriage” foxtrot, but I think this was the result of the higher standard we’ve come to expect from these two. The couple was slightly out of sync at times, but the choreography was extremely difficult. The dance was beautiful and graceful and fun and I loved it. Jennifer has no competition. None. For as well as Brandy danced, it is still absolutely ridiculous that she got a higher score than Jennifer.

My pick to go home this week: Bristol Palin

Who actually went home: Florence Henderson

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3 responses to “The Fourth Judge: Week 5

  1. I used to be a big ‘Hills’ fan, but that was only in the first..MAYBE second season. Then it got so repetitive I ended up hating it, along with its ‘The City’ spinoff. But even in the Hills, I hated to watch Audrina. She didn’t have a personality and never showed any emotion, so I guess I don’t expect much else from her dancing! On the other hand, I am in LOVE with Jennifer Grey. I admit that I am biased because I am a die-hard Dirty Dancing fan.
    I LOVED your review and I love reading your posts! :)

  2. I haven’t watched it yet. But I’ll read this again when I do. I knew Florence went home though…

  3. Oh my! Gorilla suits? That sounds hilarious!

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