The Fourth Judge: Week 10

 Week 10: THE FINALS

Woo! I’m not sure whether I’m cheering from the sheer excitement of it all, or because Season 11 is finally over. Either way…Woo!

What with my dad’s visit to the hospital and the looming husband homecoming, I only just found time to watch the results show last night. (I sometimes type “resluts” instead of “results”…it never gets old.) So, my apologies – AGAIN – for the timing of the recap. Fortunately I’ll never have to type that again and you’ll never have to read it again. See how neatly that all works out?

ANYway…for the finale, the contestants each had to perform four dances. Crazy, right?

  1. The Redemption Dance. The judges pick a dance they want to see the celebrities redo and, presumably, improve upon.
  2. The Freestyle. Anything goes. Multiple styles of dance, non-traditional styles of dance and impressive lifts galore. Unless you’re watching the Season 11 finale, where there is one injured dancer, one rotund dancer and one timid dancer. Then the lifts are sparse and mediocre.
  3. The Favorite. Each couple picks their favorite dance from the season to re-perform.
  4. Instant Cha Cha Cha. A relay where the couples learn the song less than an hour before they are to dance to it.

Kyle Masse/Lacey Schwimmer

  1. Foxtrot 27/30
  2. Freestyle 29/30
  3. Tango 26/30
  4. Instant Cha cha cha 28/30

Total: 110/120

The foxtrot is not Kyle’s best dance. It looked a bit stiff but it was “smoothish”…not smooth, but smoothish…and a slight improvement over last time. He and Lacey “ghetto danced” to the Tootsie Roll – boom box style with baggy shorts and turned up hats. Well done, but I thought it was a bit predictable and stereotypical that they chose that type of dance and it turned me off. (Geez, I sound more like Len all the time!) There was definite improvement in the tango – it was stronger, more confident and sharper. But I still am not convinced that Kyle is leading. Oh, to see a male celebrity actually lead a dance! Ah well, maybe Season 12. Finally, I thought Kyle out-cha cha cha-ed Bristol and Jennifer by a long shot. The dance suits his personality perfectly and the energy was phenomenal.

Bristol Palin/Mark Ballas

  1. Jive 27/30
  2. Freestyle 25/30
  3. Tango 25/30
  4. Instant Cha cha cha 27/30

Total: 104/120

Bristol and Mark were supposed to redeem themselves from their ape-suited nightmare with another jive. Unfortunately, this one was every bit as terrible as the first. Bristol had no bounce, no movement, no anything. I wanted to yell, “Just do something!” Actually, I think I did. Yell that, I mean. For their freestyle, Mark way overshot the mark by choosing “Cell Block Tango” from the Broadway musical, Chicago. I think he did Bristol a disservice by setting her up against a legendary performance. I mean, let’s face it – Bristol’s come a long way, but she’s no Catherine Zeta-Jones. (Now those, Kelly Osborne, are big shoes to fill.) Still, I thought Bristol gave it a good effort and it was fairly entertaining. There just wasn’t a whole lot of dancing in it. Stomping around in high-heeled boots, yes. Dancing, no. Their favorite dance was their Rock Week tango. It looked like an instant replay, as far as I was concerned. Bristol did a decent job in the cha cha cha where she could have looked really bad in contrast with the other two, but managed to pull out a decent performance. I’m glad, for her sake, that she was able to go out on a high note.

Jennifer Grey/Derek Hough

  1. Paso doble 30/30
  2. Freestyle 30/30
  3. Viennese waltz 30/30
  4. Instant Cha cha cha 28/30

Total: 118/120

Not too much to say here. Jennifer’s first three dances were perfection, according to the judges. I thought her paso redemption dance truly redeemed her. It was SO much more controlled than the first one. The freestyle was another campy routine to a Dirty Dancing soundtrack song, but they certainly pulled it off amazingly. The Viennese waltz was just as good as it was the first time around, and the cha cha cha was sharp and clean. Jennifer is definitely the best all-around dancer, but she doesn’t have the personality of Kyle and I don’t find her as fun to watch. I think, too, her multiple injuries limited her. Derek did a great job of fitting the choreography to those limitations without making it look totally lame.

Before I announce the winners (like you don’t know), I’d like to add a few highlights from the Results show:

Kurt Warner and Rick Fox did a nice paso “face-off” for their return dance and The Hoff had kind of a funny skit, too. It’s cool that he can laugh at himself.

The Sitch (get a real name already) did an absolutely disgusting return number. I can’t even call it a dance because it only consisted of him walking around the dance floor with his shirt off and arms spread wide while three blonds cavorted around and feigned humping him. Gross. Like the kid needs a bigger ego.

And, finally, the quote of the night…wasn’t even from Bruno. Len to Bristol:

If someone had told me in Week One that you’d be in the finals, I’d have pickled me walnuts.

That doesn’t get old, either.

And now the results:

My pick to win it: Jennifer

The actuals: 1st – Jennifer & Derek; 2nd – Kyle & Lacey; 3rd – Bristol & Mark

Congrats, Finalists!


2 responses to “The Fourth Judge: Week 10

  1. Yes, it seems there is a God after all! I was thinking of you when I heard the results on the radio the morning after the Big Night. I actually also caught Bristol Palin in action on her mother’s Alaska show last week. It was all very pitiful, but such a trainwreck that I was morbidly fascinated & couldn’t pull myself away from watching her……I think I may be becoming slightly obsessed for no reason.

  2. Woohoo! We all knew Jennifer would win though right??

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