What’s wrong with this picture?
My husband has been away for over a year. He spent eight months of that year in a war zone and I haven’t seen him in six months.
On his way home, he’s met with delay after delay, including administrative issues, delayed flights and European snow storms. (On leave it was the ash cloud; the guy can’t catch a break.)
He was supposed to be home today. He’s not.
What does all this have to do with two bags of groceries, you ask? I’m glad you brought that up. Let me explain.
The connection is that, even more so than usual, and to quote WB, “I have no patience for stupid.”
Today, I brought to the grocery store, as I always do, three strong canvas bags with lovely rectangular bottoms and delightful shoulder straps. And the bagger and cashier proceeded (as they usually do) to pack my groceries in the least efficient manner possible.
My groceries didn’t all fit into the canvas bags, so the two ladies used plastic for the overflow. Fine. Wonderful. I need bags to scoop the litter box anyway.
But come on now.
In the plastic bag there are: two glass jars of salsa, three canned goods, a can of tuna fish, a glass jar of peanut butter and a glass bottle of cranberry juice.
It weighed TWELVE POUNDS. (Not 120 – you can’t see the decimal point in the picture.)
In contrast, the strong canvas bag with the shoulder straps contains: two boxes of puffed rice cereal, a box of green tea, a plastic bottle of mouthwash and a plastic container of cashews.
Puffed. Freakin. Rice.
I don’t have a picture because it wouldn’t register on my scale without me on it, but trust me when I say it weighed 4.4 pounds.
It’s not that I’m worried about the plastic bag breaking. It’s that it is so much easier to carry that kind of weight on my shoulder, rather than dangling from my fingertips as the handles slowly stretch into thin wire that can slice straight through bone if held long enough.
Inept bagging is one of my personal pet peeves. I, because I’m completely OCD, try to make it easy for the baggers. I put everything on the belt in groups. The cold stuff all together. The paper goods all together. The meats all together. And so on and so forth.
Somehow these groups never quite make it into the same bags.
I recently started trying to put the heavy items on first in the hopes that they would end up in the canvas. It only works about 50% of the time. Those cereal and tissue boxes fit so neatly in the rectangular-bottomed bags that the baggers can’t help themselves.
Even more irksome is when they put the raw meat in with the fruits and vegetables. Um, ew. I can’t even blame it on the fact that my fifteen year old bagger probably has never grocery shopped before in his or her life. One summer I worked in a supermarket so I know that they get on the job training. Apparently, however, many of them don’t retain the information.
Actually, it’s not such a huge deal. It’s just that any lack of common sense irritates me more than a cat hair in my bra. And in my current state of excitement and anxiety, today’s incident blew the roof off of my patience. I needed an outlet.
Thanks for listening. Over and out.